I Do Not Hook Up
by SSAEmilyHotchner
Summary: Oneshot. Inspired by "I Do Not Hook Up", by Kelly Clarkson. After Haley's death, Emily stops by Hotch's house to see how he's doing, offer comfort, and help him heal. Rated T solely for language.


Author's Note: I guess this story could be read without the song lyrics...but I was struck with the plot while I was listening to the song "I Do Not Hook Up", so I thought that I might as well include the lyrics. (: I think it (somewhat) fits the relationship between a post-Haley's death Hotch and Emily. If only this scene actually happened...Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: My master plan to steal the ownership of Criminal Minds failed. So no, I don't own CM. Unfortunately.

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It had been less than a month since the whole Foyet ordeal, and Aaron Hotchner was slipping into depression. Emily had been visiting every few days, offering comfort, helping take care of Jack, and preventing Aaron from slipping into that dark abyss. Against her own free will, Emily was falling in love with him. They had grown closer to each other, and their relationship had…changed. It was no longer strictly professional. They were both good friends…or were they something more?

Emily knocked on Hotch's door for the second time after ringing the doorbell several times.

"Why isn't he answering?" Emily thought, concern visibly etched in her features. The last time that he hadn't come to the door, Emily had found the door to be unlocked, a gruesome pool of blood staining the carpet, and he had been in the hospital with nine stab wounds.

So again, this wasn't a good sign.

Just as she was about to pull out her gun and knock down the door, it swung open slowly, revealing Hotch on the other side, a look between fatigue and impatience painted on his face.

"What do you want…Oh. Emily," he said, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "Come on in." Emily muttered a greeting as she stepped into his house, but was otherwise quiet as she checked out Aaron's appearance.

He looked horrible.

There were bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in forever. His clothes were rumpled and old-looking, as if he hadn't bothered to change in days. There was another thing, though; something Emily couldn't quite place. The realization hit her as she watched Hotch stumble and almost fall over the edge of the carpet.

He had been drinking.

"What happened to him?" Emily asked herself, as she thought of the last time she had seen him, three days ago. He had been getting better, learning how to cope with everything, and things like that. He had looked clean, fresh, and he certainly hadn't been drunk. In fact, he usually never drank, because he had a son to take care of. So _what happened?_

_Oh sweetheart, put the bottle down, you've got too much talent. I see you through those bloodshot eyes. There's a cure, you've found it. Slow motion sparks, you've caught that chill, now don't deny it. But boys will be boys, oh yes they will. They don't want to define it._

"Screw the fraternization rules," Emily thought as she put a hand on Aaron's arm, turning him to face her, and grabbing his attention. He sighed.

"What happened to you, Aaron?" she asked, purposely using his first name to make sure he was listening.

"What do you mean, what happened to me? Emily, you already know."

"No, I don't know." Now she was getting mad. "The last time I was here, you were perfectly fine, and look at you now!"

"Just what is that supposed to mean?" he retorted angrily.

"You've been drinking!" she yelled.

"So?" he spat out, his face contorting in rage.

She scoffed. "You have a son, Aaron. Just because you don't care about your own welfare doesn't mean you can just disregard Jack. Some people actually care about you, you know. You need to stop blaming yourself for Haley's death, because it was nobody's fault but Foyet's and it's not doing anybody any good. Do you honestly think that he wouldn't have killed her if you had made the deal?" she said bluntly, and continued. "He was a narcissistic son of a bitch, and he would've done it just to spite you, Aaron. _He's dead._" She added quietly, "And he'll never hurt you again."

He was quiet, staring at her as he absorbed her words. Finally, the strength behind her words hit him. He sank into a nearby chair, dropped his head into his hands, broke down and cried.

It was frightening to see Hotch, who was usually strong and fearless, in such a weak state. Unable to stand it anymore, she kneeled down beside him and gave him a hug, soothing him as she would've soothed a child.

_I can't cook, no, but I can clean up the mess she left. Lay your head down and feel the beat, as I kiss your forehead._

Wiping his eyes and stopping his sobs, he looked at Emily. "She is so beautiful," he thought. He instantly felt like a jackass. She was trying to be strong for him and his son, and all he could do in return was scream at her.

Guilt consumed him as he murmured a quiet, "I'm sorry," so he did the only thing he could think of. He kissed her.

Emily kissed him back gently, then pulled away somewhat reluctantly. She smiled at him and said, "Let me get you some water." As she washed two glasses, she voiced her thoughts out loud. "Where's Jack?"

Accepting the glass of ice-cold water, he responded, "Upstairs, sleeping in his room." His expression changed as he said what had been bothering him. "I think he blames me for Haley's death. He probably hates me."

Emily gasped suddenly, choking on her water. Aaron immediately ran over to where she was standing and gently patted her on the back. Smoothing her hair away from her face, he asked, "Are you okay?" She nodded, then clearing her throat, said, "Aaron…Jack loves you. Adores would be the better word. Have you even talked to him about it?"

He shook his head slowly. She sighed, then continued, "He doesn't blame you at all. He thinks that you are a hero, Aaron. Jack is so innocent…he knows that you got rid of the bad guy, and he knows that you tried your best to prevent Haley's death. He knows that she'll always be watching over him, and that both you and Haley _still_ love him very much," she said, emphasizing the "still." "It's more than he could ask for, Aaron. He told me all this himself. So don't think for even one second that your son doesn't love you." She chuckled, concluding, "You're his idol. Every time that I talk to him, it's always, 'my daddy this,' or 'my daddy that.' So no, he doesn't blame you _at all._"

By now, Aaron was feeling incredibly better. He thought, "What on Earth did I do to deserve someone like Emily in my life?" Without thinking, he kissed her again, trying to convey in one embrace everything that he had ever wanted to tell her. She kissed back without hesitation, and they both knew that the other would be able to survive.

_This may not last, but this is now, to love the one you're with. You want to chase, but you're chasing your talent. A quick fix will never get you well._

"Was their relationship something else now?" they both thought. It certainly felt different. The silence was imposing, and Hotch _had_ to break it, so he said the first thing that came into mind.

"I love you."

Emily studied him carefully. Who would have known that those three words, if spoken by the right person, had such a huge effect?

"I love you, too."

_I feel the distance between us could be over with a snap of your fingers…_

_Oh no, I do not hook up, up, I go slow. So if you want me, I don't come cheap. Keep your head in my hand, your heart on your sleeve. Oh no, I do not hook up, up, I fall deep. 'Cause the more that you try, the harder I find to say goodnight._

Aaron cleared his throat, then said sincerely, "Thank you, Emily. For absolutely_ everything_. It really means a lot."

She smiled sweetly, then said, "No, Aaron. Thank _you. _For holding on, and being strong."

_Oh sweetheart, put the bottle down, 'cause you don't want to miss out._


End file.
